Its official

This guy will be on the new surreal life. Fuck yeah, breaking news brought to you by your stupid friends at weddingfarts.

also

stupid balls often look like this

This is an excellent experiment

totally awesome

Bagels and smoked fish

I'm sorry. I can't help myself.

Now I remember

Water in ear. This is why we don't go swimming. Also, the back hair. We are usually considerate enough not to hurt people's eyes with it in public places.

Grammar anus

An informal poll of weddingfarts readers (of which there seem to be two, one from RCN and one from Mediaone) think that grammar is super dumb, and that they hate it. One of those people polled also mentioned a bit of trepidation about the state of their spleen.

so, not mono?

great. The doctor called, and I have strep. It looks like my spleen is safe. Thank goodness. Now I must watch Ray and take a nap.

Weddingfarts was right...

He's right. The world should know. The doctor thinks I might have mono. That is the stupidest thing that a doctor has ever said to me. I really hope that I don't have that. I'm 26 years old. To me, thats like getting chicken pox as an adult. Which happened to someone I know. That shit was whack.
They thought I had mono once before...I threw up in a parking lot that time. I didn't have mono though. Now, this time, I'm really worried that my spleen is going to burst. Thats the stupidest most terrifying thing that a 26 year old can think about. The burstation of the ol' spleen. I mean we've been together for a long time, my spleen and I. She doesn't ask much of me, I don't ask much of her...just don't burst or rupture or whatever the fuck. Which leads me to something else...
A couple of people have been talking about how their significant others don't do anything romantic for them. I think I have the solution. Who cares?

URGENT: I need help

I'm flailing here on my paper. I need weddingfarts help. Please suggest different values that you think are important or that people have even if you don't. Any values. Be creative. Now.

A warning

It's raining outside. I'm sick of my house. I may do something drastic, like go swimming at the gym.

Sore throats and pizza

So yesterday the first game tipped off and I thought to myself "I have a sore throat." As soon as I thought that I got an overwhelming desire to have a pepperoni and black olive pizza. So I did it. I pushed through the pain, and gave it my all. We, the pizza and I, also went to overtime; which some would consider a loss for me. However, I'm well aware that although this is a one shot deal, I have a chance to redeem myself at lunch time today. I can do it. I know I can.

Balls

Camp Job

I'm pretty sure that Jim Kelly could use a communal drumming specialist this summer. . .

Angry

It's sunny outside, which is not something we're used to around here. Don't worry, though-- I'll be paper writing all day. Here is how paper writing goes: play on the internet, play on the internet, call sailor jacket, play on the internet, time for self-loathing, more self-loathing, eat food, sit at computer, turn on work, play on the internet, snoop through housemate's porn, wow he has tons of porn, self-loathing, play on the internet, oh look basketball is on!

Animal Planet :: Dragons

Animal Planet :: Dragons Keep one eye on the sky.

psycho watch

Bobby Fischer is psycho. Watch out. I guess when your really good at chess, your also psycho.

dumb farts

I just posted this huge thing and then weddingfarts ate it. Weddingfarts are like its creators. It will eat everything.

jobs

I just posted this huge thing and then weddingfarts ate it. Weddingfarts are like its creators. It will eat everything.

jobs

if anyone knows of a perspective employer looking for an individual with the following traits please let us at wedding farts know...


Should pretty much hate everyone
Should spend most of the day thinking about food
Should be able to eat a lot
Should be willing to take a lot of time off
Should not want to work more than 25 hours a week
Should prefer wearing cargo pants
Should be willing to relocate to somewhere awesome
Should have a 10 year 100,000 mile powertrain warranty
Should be able to pause Live TV

Thanks for your help,

Team weddingfarts

Is it just me?

Or is every internet site devoted to sports reporting everything possible on Johnny Damon?  Like, Johnny Damon accidentally put on his sock upside down, or Johnny Damon excused himself from practice to take a piss that was a little too yellow, and followed up the piss with a drink of water to get a proper level of hydration.  Don't get me wrong, I really like Johnny Damon, but seriously its ridiculous.

Awesome

I'm really happy when I go to talk to a professor and I discover later that my sweater was insider out. Really, really happy. Really fucking happy.