Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Old Man Patch

Gracious readers, .gov's, friends... I'm closer to obtaining my old man patch than I ever thought I would be.

What's an old man patch? That's a great question. An old man patch is like a Boy Scout patch. You conquer certain tasks and get closer to your patch.

In the last two days I've done two things that draw me nearer to my old man patch.

1. I got really excited about having an artichoke with dinner. Fiancee made it. She also made a soy sauce/fat free mayonaise dipping sauce. I think it was the act of guilt free dipping that got me so excited. There was a time when I would dip my chicken wings in blue cheese dressing and feel guilt free. Now? It's special occasions only. French Fries dipped in Ketchup/Ranch/Blue Cheese? I don't even remember the last time. Chicken McNuggets?

Artichokes are really good. You can dip them. Do they deserve the same unfettered excitement that a good egg roll in duck sauce gets? No... unless you're that much closer to your old man badge.

Follow my math... artichoke + guilt free dipping - excitement = 1 step closer to old man patch.

2. I get home from work. I get into my "comfies (as fiancee calls them)." How are my comfies a prelude to an old man patch? It's not the comfies per se. It's the foot wear. See, I leave my dark socks on. Shirt, shorts, old man dark socks. I'm getting closer and closer people.

Old man patch updates will happen sporadically and are even more painful to write about than they are to think about. We haven't even touched on the fact that I sometimes wake up early to go to the gym, or the fact that before I wake up to go to the gym I wake up to pee, or that I really do believe that breakfast could be the most important meal of the day.

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