Wii updatefarts

Well done weddingfarts. Your determination to get a wii was rewarded. Be careful though. The video with this post was taped in your apartment this afternoon.

While we are thinking about Wiifarts

Someone is going to hurt themselves trying to get a Wii. In the meantime, to distract ourselves, let us remember what you can buy in stores in Austin, TX.

Beardfarts II

I thought that all of our .govs and obama boob seekers would want to know that I have shaved off my beard. It was way too itchy, and didn't look as good as it did when I was in college. Go figure. If anyone takes issue with the shaving and would like to dare me to regrow my beard I will be listening.

Beardfarts

I'm growing a beard. I'm married. I'm at the 4 day mark. It's starting to get itchy. You enjoy my beard.

Really Good Peanut Butter Farts

I don't know Dave, the author of this blog post. And I don't usually get excited for peanut butter. I mean, it's fine, it's particularly good on celery in my opinion, but I don't often use it.

But the sheer passion for the product in this post makes me thing otherwise. To wit:

I have shared with jars of peanut butter my most private hopes and dreams. When I smell peanut butter, freshly toasted and bubbling into the nooks and crannies of an English Muffin, I feel the way I did when, during Three Times a Lady at an eighth grade dance, I first found the courage to slide my sweaty palms down past the small of a back to the gloriously tight rear pockets on a pair Chemin de Fers.

Wow. Dave, whoever you are, you have earned yourself the esteemed title of Honorary Weddingfarter of the Day. Mazel Tov.

Hat fart: Andrew Sullivan.

Deadspin Fart Farts

Dear .govs,

In keeping with the essential mission of this blog, I feel duty bound to direct your attention to this link.

Beloved Recent Nostalgia Farts

Scenes from the Season . . .

Beloved Recent Nostalgia Farts

Scenes from the Season . . .

Live Blog: Calling Best Buy and Circuit City for Wiifarts

Wii is harder to find than good pizza in LA.  I will now call Best Buy.

All times are Pacific:

1:09pm - hang up phone with weddingfarts

1:09pm - Look up nearest Best Buy via store locator

1:10pm - Dialing

1:10pm - Lady computer answers

1:10pm - press 3 for sales associate

1:11pm - still ringing

1:12pm - back to lady computer voice

1:12pm - press 3 again

1:13pm - Lady answers phone and says that they have no Wii.  She has no idea when Wii will be available.  I hate that lady.

1:13pm - Look up nearest Circuit City via Store Locator

1:15pm - Lady computer answers

1:15pm - press 3

1:15pm - press 8 for games

1:16pm - press 2 again for games

1:16pm - ringing

1:16pm - "hello, we are not available right now, please call again"   Disconnected.  Awesome.

1:17pm - Try again.  Press 3 again.  Pressed 0 for operator.  Operator says that they have none and have no idea when they will get in.

I'm starting to get upset by this.

Our Beloved's website has crappy writingfarts

The following is from an article on our beloved's website. 

"The one area where Buffalo's line may look to improve their play further is run blocking. Marshawn Lynch was forced to earn the majority of his yards this past season."

I don't want to say that the writer is a dumbass, but I was under the impression that running back's (like Marshawn Lynch) in the NFL earned the majority of their yards by running. 

Losman Wants Out. Whatever.

As other NFL teams get to keep playing into the new year, our beloved has begun its traditional January season of surprise departures, finger pointing, and recriminations. Marv is leaving us, which makes us sad. And now Losman wants out. To which Beloved Nation says: whatever.

Sure, go. But quit whining. You say you never got enough support from the team. That may be because you aren't very good at football. The fans in Western New York are desperate. Believe me, we would have embraced you if you didn't so often run backwards and fall down. Yes, you lost your job twice-- to Kelly Holcomb (!) and a rookie. But you took most of the snaps for two seasons for an NFL team. And your body of work when you had the ball just wasn't so impressive. The long ball was great, but too often you looked confused and broke the play. We all saw it-- it was on tv. So we're going in a different direction.

It's nothing personal, believe me. You showed that you were willing to make a commitment to the city of Buffalo, which we all liked. I hope that you find a team that embraces you, and that you prove everyone wrong. But you had your chance in Buffalo. Apparently, it wasn't going to happen for you here. You weren't entitled to anymore than you got from us. If you're still confused by what happened, give a call to Drew Bledsoe, Charlie Frye, Jake Plummer, Chad Pennington, or Joey Harrington.

Good luck, JP, wherever you end up.