shit pains

matzoh shit pains. Could be the most unfavorable shit pains of all time. You just know that nothing good is going to come of it.

Playoff Basketball and sausage

I love watching the Bulls. I always feel like something is going to go wrong. It makes sense because all of my teams, the Cubs, Red Sox, and Bills are notorious for giving people severe intestinal distress. I think that Ben Gordon should be rookie of the year. He's got a gross tattoo. That counts in the voting.

I ate sausage for lunch. It was good. Chicken chipotle pepper. I made it on the foreman grill. I also cleaned my kitchen. This is an eventful saturday.

Last day of internship

I can safely say that my internship was not the best internship that someone could have. I didn't get steak or shrimp or wine all the time. I had a computer though. That was nice. I took some post it notes too. 5 pads of post its to be exact. Because I'm not sure if my next job will have post its. Now I'm going to eat salad and watch tv. Why? Because I can't fucking eat bread.

Draft Day

When I look at the Buffalo Bills' offensive line, and I think about their extra running back, I can't help but think that what the Bills need is another wide receiver. I hope that they can find someone who is actually smaller than me, maybe someone who is 5'9'' and 169 pounds or so.

It's not me, it's them.

I figured it out. It's not broken. CBS Sportsline Gameday Audio Alerts is meant to only announce outs for Mark Bellhorn and Doug Mirabelli. It kind of makes sense when you think about it.

Spring in Boston

I was sitting outside earlier today when a friend sat down, mentioned that his boxer shorts were giving him trouble, and remarked: "I feel like I'm sitting in a puddle." I think he may be one of us.

I know your there weddingfarts

stop fucking around

Blog sucks

Let's be clear about something. School does not end in April. I don't care how many masters degreees you have, you're supposed to keep working at least until the middle of May. And another thing: vverything I eat these days comes with fries. So I'm broken. I don't want to talk about it.

work from home?

My interview today was for a position that would require me to work from home. That sounds either really shitty or totally awesome. Discuss.

job search

I hate jobs. I don't want one. Can't I get paid to do stupid blog posts? Please? The Bulls are in the playoffs; exciting. The Cubs are .500; exciting. The Red Sox are doing better than the Cubs; exciting. Steinbrenner tore the Yankees new a holes; FUCKING AWESOME.

backed up

so, usually I take care of things in the morning. Like clockwork. However, this morning there was nothing to take care of. I'm not sure what to do. The strange thing is that this is the second time this has happened this week. All I really want to do is take a healthy poo. That is whack.

Scared. I mean, confident. But really scared.

2005 Schedule
TwoBillsDrive.com reports:
SUN 9/11 HOUSTON AT BUFFALO 1:00p (ET)
SUN 9/18 BUFFALO AT TAMPA BAY 1:00p (ET)
SUN 9/25 ATLANTA AT BUFFALO 1:00p (ET)
SUN 10/2 BUFFALO AT NEW ORLEANS 12:00p (CT)
SUN 10/9 MIAMI AT BUFFALO 1:00p (ET)
SUN 10/16 NEW YORK JETS AT BUFFALO 4:15p (ET)
SUN 10/23 BUFFALO AT OAKLAND 1:15p (PT)
SUN 10/30 BUFFALO AT NEW ENGLAND 8:30p (ET)
SUN 11/6 BYE
SUN 11/13 KANSAS CITY AT BUFFALO 1:00p (ET)
SUN 11/20 BUFFALO AT SAN DIEGO 1:15p (PT)
SUN 11/27 CAROLINA AT BUFFALO 1:00p (ET)
SUN 12/4 BUFFALO AT MIAMI 1:00p (ET)
SUN 12/11 NEW ENGLAND AT BUFFALO 1:00p (ET)
SAT 12/17 DENVER AT BUFFALO 8:30p (ET)
SAT 12/24 BUFFALO AT CINCINNATI 1:00p (ET)
SUN 1/1 BUFFALO AT NEW YORK JETS 1:00p (ET)

I wonder...

...Did he go to our camp?

Giant Battle Monsters - weddingfarts vs sailor jacket

I don't get this this. But I'm glad that I win on intelligence.

back up

Good thing he's only broken his leg twice. Sounds like a perfect match.

Balls, balls, balls, and more balls.

There. I said it.

Anxiety

This guywrote about the Bulls which is exciting. The Bulls could be good again, which would make me happy for suffering with them the past 5 years.

Happy. Scared.

My sources tell me that the scrappy mud bug is now engaged. Mazel fucking tov. I think oysters are in order.

I'm sure that the transition will be seamless

nothing to worry about folks, nothing at all

I'm not sure...

...they might be

Crap

Yep, I said it, crap. The baseball season starts tomorrow. I'm not quite ready for the anxiety that comes with being a Cubs/Red Sox fan. David Wells looked big and fat tonight. He actually balked. He's a trillion years old, and a trillion pounds, and he still balked. However, I feel a certain level of understanding. I balk at least three times a day.

Every Cub is on the DL now. Apparently Prior feels fine, but he's going on the DL as a "precautionary" measure. That can't be good. I understand this too. Sometimes I do things as precautions.

The NCAA championship game is tomorrow. I already lost my bracket. I don't really care. I'd just like to see a good game. Thats within the realm of possiblity.

Maybe I could get a job writing a column for the Cubs. I'd start every article with..."Crap." For example: "Crap, Wood and Prior are hurt." or "Crap, Ramirez hasn't signed a contract extension." or "Crap, Dusty Baker requires dental work from chippage from a tooth pick." or "Crap, Greg Maddux is a trillion years old."

Like ours, maybe a bit better.

Ooooh. NBA blog!

Anderson

So far it sounds like he's been healthy. Hopefully he'll be able to break a foot or dislocate a limb before the season starts. That's usually how we know they're ready to play in Buffalo.