I Hate Everyone, Morning Edition

Readers of this blog will know that I have trouble with mornings. I don't often get to work before 9:45, which means I'm here later than I want to be, or that I leave before I should.

This morning was going to be different though. I set my alarm for an early time, which I do often, but actually managed to get out of bed before 8 this morning. I browsed the internet, took a shower, browsed the internet, and I was on pace to get to work before nine. The world was full of such possibility!

And then, the train. The metro station was packed when I got down there, and despite the flashing lights that mean that a train is coming, there was no train for another 10 minutes, at which point the station was full of irate morning people. It wasn't all bad-- I listened to Bob Dylan (on my PHONE no less), and I had a crappy paper to read, but this wasn't the plan. Then a packed train came into the station. I let that one go. And then another. And then another. Usually the third train in this situation is empty, but not today. I finally saw a small opening and got myself onto the fifth train. Fucking shitballs, was pretty much what I was thinking at the time.

And the next station, there was no room on the train. But that didn't stop three dumb fucks from pushing me into everyone else so they could get on the train. I don't like being pushed around by people I don't know. I wasn't at a phish concert this morning. I was on a train to work. And the leader of the dumb fucks was wearing a puffy jacket and had a big orange earing, so I didn't like him at all. Especially when his elbow was in my face. Why, oh why, should I have to have a dumb fuck's elbow in my face on my way to work?

I'll tell you why. Because I tried to get to work on time. I still didn't get here until 9:20, although I did stop for a delicious breakfast sandwich to make up for all of my troubles. Let that be a lesson to everyone.