The Hanes advertisement with Kevin Bacon and Michael Jordan is a travesty. It's awkward to watch. The premise is such bad shit. I can imagine the creative meeting.
Sweaty bloated ad guy: "I have the best idea. It's better than fucking smug Jared from Subway. Why don't we have Kevin Bacon shoot a basketball and get blocked by Michael Jordan?"
Sweaty bloated ad guy 2: "Oh wait! Shit! This is awesome. Then Kevin Bacon can shoot his keys into the key dish and Michael Jordan could block that shot! Holy shit!"
editors note: Michael Jordan would not block a set of keys if they were shot. They are metal and they hurt. We here in the Weddingfarts sports technology lab tried it. Keys are metal and pointy.
Sweaty bloated ad lady: "This is genius, what if Kevin Bacon balled up some paper and shot it into the trashcan, but it was blocked by Michael Jordan! But not just any Michael Jordan... Michael Jordan in a wheely office chair!"
Just regular bloated ad guy: "And then, to top it all off, we can have Kevin Bacon look around for Michael Jordan, and when he doesn't think that MJ is around we can have Kevin Bacon try to toss a grape into his mouth. Then MJ comes flying out of nowhere to pluck the grape out of the air."
Original sweaty bloated ad guy: "OF COURSE! Then we can have MJ wink at Kevin Bacon so that Kevin Bacon knows that he can never shoot anything without it getting blocked by MJ."
Hanes Exec: That is fucking money!
Editors Note 2: MJ, you are hurting our feelings.
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